Paid my last months bills...YAY! Preparing for exams... < : 0
Things are a bit uncomfortable with JTM...his vanished/WAS has now started " communicating " with him.
He has said he has some feelings he's not feeling good about. He has bonded with me, and finds me to be " amazing, rare, special, wise..." yadda yadda. He hasn't ML with me for a month. He feels like he should not while they are " communicating ". I asked at our last date if this was a "good bye " lunch? He immediately said " no! ".
I expressed that I thought he had a lot to think about and he may never get closure or resolution. We are still communicating and he is still loving.
At this point I feel a bit apprehensive, but not throwing in the towel. His divorce was final last year in October. He is an honorable man, at least what I've seen so far.
He is probably weighing his feelings for me and the feelings he has for his wife. It cannot be comfortable, for he loved her deeply and did not want the divorce. He has also said he believes she is sharing now, due to having moved on.
I believe that will be determined.
I do love him, but I also believe family comes first. If they R. I will again be ambivalent. For a family put back together is a beautiful thing. I really do believe in busting divorce.
I want what is best for him, and if that means letting go... I'll let go. I may hurt, and not really like it, but I will NOT be part of keeping them apart. Even if they are divorced.
This can and may happen with any divorced or separated people. It is part of life. Especially at my age. The issues will be either, never married, divorced, separated, or widowed.
It is what it is. I put myself out there, received love from a wonderful man, and gave love. I'll know more one my, JTM's and his ex-wife's b-day has passed. Yes we all have September b-day's!
REALLY ?
Mine is this coming Monday, his is the following Monday, and hers is the Monday after that!!!
Meanwhile I'm going on a meet up tonight at six thirty. I have to keep myself open to all possibilities. It is a casual meet up in Middleburg and should be pleasant.
I may make a new friend or find someone for a friend of mine. Who knows?
Formerly Workinprogress H :55 M :over 29 yrs. Together : 33 D : college D : adult BD and left : May 2013 Separated Experimenting/Replay
