Need Help before I blow a fuse.

[20&lost]

My W and I have been having a hard time. 9 Months ago she told me she loved me but was not in love with me. We are still together and have 2 kids. She is also my office manager. She barley speaks to me and has nothing to do with me. No matter what I do she gets mad at. She has developed and emotional relationship with a man that is 10 years younger. Physically he is not her type but she really likes hanging with him. SHe is constantly doing things for him like letting his dogs out, going to lunch with him, etc. Today she came up and needed to borrow my truck so she could pick up his lawn mower from the shop. I just finished reading Divorce Remedy and don't know if I need to to a 180 or do the last resort. I am talking to one of the DB telephone councilors and she tells me to be nice but to give her complete space. Should I confront her with all the time she is giving this other man? As I said, I think it is just an emotional and not a physical connection. I have been going through H for 9 months and really want our marriage of almost 20 years to succeed. Our 20th anniversary is the 1st of October.