WAW still at home, 3 weeks after asking for D

[bdub]

I have been very helpful with my W and her struggles with moving out. Last night she was stressed out bad about getting furniture, prepping to move and a few other things. I asked her to list exactly what was causing the stress and after she listed them I offered to take care of some of the minor ones like laundry and the small grocery list. She told me she could do it and that by starting to take care of some of those things I have almost taken away her identity. I have NO idea how to react to that so I just told her she would have to ask me to help her, since my help now seems to add to her stress.
I know she is struggling with how to pay for some new furniture even though she has had her own account and has been putting money in that account for several years. 3 days ago I would have offered a way out of the situation. Last night and today I have come up with 3 ways to easily accomplish what she wants to do. I will not mention any of them to her unless she flat out asks me what to do. Is this detaching or is that me being my usual A-hole self?