Funny how they are allowed to "feel" any way they want but other people like a 15 year old doesn't have the right to feel the way he does, and he has good reason to feel that way! My W does this with D14. She was on the phone crying about how she hated her new school and my W was in the background saying that she was "ridiculous" for feeling that way. Like she doesn't have a right to her own feelings. My W can destroy a M and family because she doesn't "feel" happy and blames the very people that actually cared about her but her D isn't allowed to have her own feelings?
My W has told me time and again that I'm going to "make" my D14 hate her. I haven't said one bad thing about her but my W just KNOWS I will. This way she can blame me if her actions hurt her D14. Lord knows that anyone who doesn't think what they are doing is "right" must have been lied to!
Your son is old enough to tell his father exactly why he feels the way he does and make his own choices about when or if he wants to see his dad. It may even be good for him to be able to confront his father with you there to help him feel "safe". It must hurt to have his dad do the things he has done. How these MLCers can't see the damage they cause is a mystery.
You can do this NLW. Maybe it's about time your H hears just how badly he has hurt his own S. Everyone, even parents, need to EARN the respect of their kids. Your H hasn't done this and shouldn't expect it. Telling someone why they don't wish to spend time with them said in a way that is calm and polite isn't "rude". In fact, it may do your S some good to get this off his chest.
