Is it fair to be separate even if living under the same roof? H and I have always had joint everything. I am contemplating on whether this would be something I would ever do again in the future. Based on how I feel about the debt that has been accrued as much as I don't want to work the second job anymore I think it is for the best so that I can steam roll some of my debt (student loans, small amounts on credit cards) and pay all of that off so that I'm bringing less to the table and less for me to worry about when I start school.
I still have every intention of forging on with the plans I made without H in my life. Grad school will better my career and will protect me even more so as far as my earning capacity should I ever (praying not) be found in this situation again.
Right now we split everything. We have separate bank accounts obviously and our joint accounts were closed during the S. He has asked if we can get joint accounts again once we have worked through everything so that everything is open and there are no secrets (I felt during the S he was hiding money - I'm sure he was so this is what he means by that. He doesn't want me to think he is working extra and keeping cash jobs).
I told him I would have to think about it. I also still intend of having my L draw up the agreement should we divorce in the future. A post nuptial? To me that is a boundary for my financial/legal/custody and if H is genuine about him being all in and has no intentions of getting D then he will sign it. And he has agreed -we both came up with what we thought was fair. I hate that we have to talk about things like that but again. Guard is up and I have to be careful.
