Hi Ats, So, he was out with OW, came to you at 4:00 AM to have sex with you, not her and went back to OW since he never showed at his mothers home and the kids didn't see him? Wow, that takes an amazing amount of a$$hatness if you ask me! What an awful thing to do. Don't feel bad about it. I probably would have reacted the exact same way if my W showed up at 4:00 AM wanting to have sex. And would have felt the same way you did after. I mean he didn't even stay after? He just "hit and ran"? Good God, what is wrong with these MLC jerks! Let me tell you. Here in TX, someone sneaking into the bedroom at 4:00 AM unannounced is libel to get shot! He chose to leave the home and you. Maybe you need to start leaving some pepper spray next to the bed and next time he tries that one he can get a face full!
He is definitely pursuing you big time but only for what HE wants! He has not one thought about what you want, what's important to YOU! Be ready for the distancing as that is coming for sure. By the way, please don't assume that he isn't having sex with OW. You now are certain there IS an OW and if he is having sex with her then he may not be "clean" if you get what I'm saying. The last thing you need to have to deal with is a STD on top of everything else.
I really care about you and the other friends that I've come to know here on these boards and it made me really angry to read about what he pulled! Here you are trying to deal with all the fallout from HIS bad choices and he has the gall to do that. To approach you when you aren't able to really think about it, that's taking advantage of the fact that you still care and want the M to work. Don't you dare feel bad about it! You still see him as your H, the father of your kids and of course your natural reaction when half asleep is the one you had. He is the one who has run away, found OW, is tearing up the family. Also, he has no right to get angry or expect you to tell him if the kids stay with their grand parents. It's not like they are with some stranger, that is a control thing, nothing more. Now, if they are going to a friends or someone who he doesn't know or a non family member I can see that it's only common courtesy to let him know. When with their grand parents I think they are safe.
Be strong Ats. He is all about him right now and he is using you for his homework buddy, care taker for his kids, wants to keep tabs on you to see if you are out with a man all while he is dating someone else and then thinks it's OK to jump you when you're half asleep. It's like he has permission to do whatever he wants while you are supposed to be there like his W when HE feels like it. Use this to help you detach Ats. You deserve to be treated better than this. You are the prize and part of him knows this. It's not easy, Lord knows I have had a hard time with detaching. Do it for you!
