Dealing with WAW part 5

[pilot]

WOW!

This advice from 25 brought tears to my eyes. It could have been written to me.

"To be fair, couldn't SHE write almost the same things you have written here about your reactions to her? Seriously.
You guys are in some stand off now waiting for the other one to make the first 4-6 moves....which is a killer position in marriages.
So many people do that and ask me why THEY must "make the first move(s).
to which I reply, "because you are here, (on a marriage saving site) and your spouse is not.
You must make the first 1001 move....and maybe the 1002nd too...."

25, you are wise. Pilot, listen. I know I am. We both might be dealing with our own wounded/overgrown egos I think...

Hugs, LisaB

Ok 25, here is a question I am sure Lisa would want to know the answer to since we are both kinda in the same spot on this. HOW do you know when or even IF to make the first 4-6 moves (I understand that was more an expression than specifics). My understanding of your statement, revisiting my previous text conversation is I should have accepted the breakfast invitation. In the future, I should make another invitation like I did for a beach day. If it gets turned down (and let's assume there is no return offer on her part), I brush it aside and at a later date, make another. And to repeat '4-6' times even if they are refused and no return offers? I get what you are saying (if this is in fact what you are saying) but how is that not considered pursuing, or even over pursuing? Or did your statement rest on the idea of a counter offer on her part being made? In other words, do not get upset she would not have dinner with you when she offered to have lunch?