GB, what I said was in response to him saying he knew I wanted "an answer." I no longer want an answer to whether or not he's coming back. I really just want to find the good in him.
But I am impatient. Also hard on myself. Also overwhelmed at the moment and unsure how I'll juggle things when I have a full time job, since I'm so tired now.
I feel like I've spent the last twelve years trying to make my household run smoothly. I get close to figuring it all out and then we've moved. Ive had three houses in the last three years. None of them have been similar to one another so solutions don't necessarily carry over. Last year I did very little to get us settled in the new house because of the bomb drop. So I'm scrambling to do it now so everything runs smoothly once I'm employed. But I have to do it all with the thought that I could be moving again in the next year if we end up divorcing.
I know I'm probably hard to live with. I know I'm impatient. A terrible DBer. Flooded with expectations. I know other people manage more with less. I'm trying to do better. But I am really, really tired, and I guess I'm succumbing to the resentment of co-owning all this responsibility with someone who just decided to quit showing up.
I also am an over-poster so I guess I'll take the rest of my anxieties to my paper journal.
Last edited by Maybell; 09/03/1401:41 PM.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
