WAW still at home, 3 weeks after asking for D

[bdub]

Wet, our marriage had never been that great. We had power struggle issues early on, then we both carried on EA at the same exact time, 7 years later. We went through counseling and got things back on track but we slid back into the same old ruts. I was controlling, took her for granted and she stopped communicating and withdrew from out marriage. Eventually this summer she dropped the bomb on me that she was not sure she loved me anymore. Then it went to "we married for the wrong reasons". She has had enough of our marriage and I cannot stop that. A few days after the BD she explained to me that she wanted to cooperate and work through a dissolution rather than a divorce. We dont hate each other. A dissolution in my state costs 250 bucks and the spouses can control how things are divided. Not only that, we are going to do shared parenting so I will have the boys half the time. On top of that, we have a pretty large amount of equity in farm ground and farm equipment. She decided that we should put the ground and equipment in a trust for the boys. This will allow me to continue farming and to pass the operation on to the boys. They will be the 6th generation to farm the ground.
Without knowing my finances you cannot possibly tell me that finances are ont a good enough reason for the 3 to 6 month period. However, as I have stated previously I think that if we are separated for that period of time we will have both had time to determine if we want to D or if we want to try to build a new R. In our R I provided safety, comfort, security,stability, and I took care of all the finances. We both earn the same money but I paid the bills and made the decisions about savings, investments and other issues. She was free to spend as she wanted and I never questioned her on that. She did not run us into the ground, but she certainly enjoys the middle class lifestyle. One of the biggest things I did not do was take care of our relationship and pay attention to her emotionally. I guess I am hoping that we will decide to R after a few months. I think the bond we have with the boys, and missing what we really did provide for each other will be enough to convince her to try to work on the things we were not doing. During that time I have to decide if I am in love with her, or if I am in love with the idea of being married and having a family. Honestly at this time I cannot answer that question and neither can she.