I was doing so good

[u-turn]

Take care of yourself dawgy. Your have to be strong for yourself and kids. Your kids will pick up on everything you do. If you are sad or angry - they will absorb that and become that too. If you are faking happy - they will have fun with you - then suddently you won't have to fake it, you will for a moment forget about your problems and you can live in that moment. That starts the PMA ball rolling.

I was accused of not being positive and happy enough around the kids by W - (back when I was a complete wreck). She said it was causing the kids to be negatively affected too much. I understood that and saw that so I faked it. (though it seemed like - here let me stab you in the back, but how dare you bleed in front of the kids)

Eating and sleeping has been my downfall as well. I find myself missing those things too. I tend to stop eating when stressed (not healthy for me) and sleep (sheesh - forget that sometimes).

Really try to find something to take your mind off of this so it can play out.

--hypocritical message from u-turn (as I find it hard to follow any of this) - ugh