Finding my way - part 5

[Meghan]

rppfl - I don't think my husband is up for the work either, so I suspect we're probably in similar spots. I've pretended that things were okay for years, and they just weren't. I fear that some of the changes that would have to be made are things that are just too fundamental to who we are and how we view the world. But...who knows? Stranger things have happened.

After all of the past week's "look how well I'm doing!", today is feeling rough. I'm back to work tomorrow, which always causes me worry and anxiety. I'm sorely missing the hugs and reassurances that usually come from H. when I feel this way, and have also realised this will be the first year he doesn't take me out for a celebratory "the first week is done!" lunch.

I'm missing him a lot right now (or, at least, missing things that I associate with him). I know that at least part of being emotional right now has to do with the anxiety and with being tired from not sleeping all that well these last few days, but it feels lousy all the same.