On a serious note, my W has taken up fitness to the extreme this past year. Im talking spin, kettle bells (spelling?), crossfit, the works. It is like she has become obsessed. I swear she wears fitness clothes 60% of the times i see her. DONT become her!
Yeah, so I'm Asian, and I don't want to be one of those Asian women who's pretending to be Caucasian. =P
I might already be like your W, Pilot. I've been really into fitness for the past 6 years or so. I was into Pilates before M, then took up kickboxing, spin, and weight lifting about a year after M. I began working out 5-6 times per week.
One of my H's complaints was that I'm in workout clothes a lot and that I'm really into working out and he felt like he just couldn't relate at all. He felt that I was more interested in working out than in spending time with him. However, he never voiced any of this until after BD, so I never knew his feelings on the matter. I merely saw working out as taking care of myself and it was a fun social thing for me as well because I made many friends at the gym. H complained (but not until right before BD) that I got too muscular. Seriously, I am not, because women only get really muscular if they restrict their diets, and I'm sorry, but I like desserts too much. This came up in one of our MC sessions, and I pushed back. Our C called him on the fact that this was probably just a product of his own insecurities (i.e., he feels weak and unmuscular, and his way of dealing with it was to then accuse me of being too muscular). I feel like this is true. Every complaint he had about me physically was somehow related to something he didn't like about himself physically. Our C finally got him to see that he was really projecting his own insecurities about himself onto me and judging me based on those things.
I work out not because I'm looking for particular results or am obsessed with my body, but because it calms me and makes me happy (hello, endorphins!). I love seeing what I'm physically capable of.
The ironic thing is that now that H and I are S, I am so busy socializing with friends that I only have time to hit the gym 2-3 times per week (I'm down to just kickboxing and ballet/barre classes). So, yes, there is some truth to the fact that I was picking working out over H. However, I know that I would have done things differently if I'd had any idea how much it bothered him. And if it had seemed that he'd wanted to do something in the evenings with me.
It's late and I'm rambling now. I hope that all makes sense.
At what point will this thread lock? Do I need to start a new thread?
Last edited by Jacket; 09/03/1407:01 AM.
Me: 35, H: 37, no kids Together since 2002, Married since 2007 IDKIILY: 2/2013 MC: 5/2013-6/2014 H stated he was REALLY done: 4/2014 I moved out 7/6/14 H filed end of 8/2014 but still hasn't served me
