Dealing with WAW part 5

[pilot]

25, I had actually been considering a DB coach (finally) these past few days. Mostly because for the first time since this whole DBing thing started, I really feel at a loss as to what to do next. I got the NC, I got the GAL, and I got the 180. Once things turned positive, I had no clue. Guidance would probably be beneficial (ok, certainly, not probably).

As for the 'get the ball rolling' yea, that was wounded pride/ego or something similar. My own emotions are a roller coaster. I have been on the free fall part lately. Had my eyes closed.. Perhaps I overly justified my position by looking at the legal side.

Like you I do not buy into the 'spare my feelings' angle either. It makes no sense given how every other action does not spare my feelings. I could dwell on it for hours/days, but I'd never guess right, so I just left it alone. I had quietly hoped someone like sandi who is intimately familiar with WAW thoughts/feelings would have an insight, if for no other reason to help calm my mind on it. But even then, it would be guess work.

As for the cracker barrel invitation, yea, I agree it most likely was a positive (although I think I pointed out how when pieced with other interactions it could have very well been a negative.) That being said, at the time I got it, my assumption was it was not a negative. I really had wished I had time to post here and get advice because I was super conflicted on how to answer this. In the end, I went with the 'do not be too available' approach given she just shot down MY invitation. I definitely saw positives for taking the invitation, I just did not want to seem too eager. Again...another reason for DB coach time...

And yes, you are right, she could probably very well write the same things. And I do see the POV of a standoff (although I had never considered that). I think I have been experimenting (maybe incorrectly) on how to 'appear' as if I am moving on without her. However, i am finding it hard to find the balance of appearing to move on and not doing things that come across as 'demands' or actions to illicit a response. Not sure if that makes sense...

I get it that I have to be the one to make the moves. It just becomes hard to do that and NOT come across as pursuing. I wish I knew the proper application of interactions. I simply do not. And I end up guessing. Maybe I should keep a quarter on me and just flip it every now and then. Can't hurt...