-March 2014: I sent out a letter to Ms. Wonka apologizing for hurts I inflicted on her during my MLC chit and asking how I can make sincere amends -We go back and forth for about two weeks (the most deep exchanges in nearly 10 years) -The last one from Ms. Wonka, she practically comes right out and "demands" that I acknowledge OW. -I responded that I did. However, it does not mean that I have to respect her. Never have, not now, nor ever will. Ended by stating that there will be some subjects that we cannot discuss freely. It is just the way it is.
Silence from Ms. Wonka.
-Didn't send her a HBD text in May because 1) I was busy at a family wedding 2) I forgot
-I sent out a text wishing her a Happy Fourth. She doesn't respond until July 10th...thanked me then said cryptically "I will be in touch later"
-After a looong radio silence, I sent her a short text (ONE...mind you) in mid-August stating that I looking forward to NFL starting.
-Nothing from Ms. Wonka until late this afternoon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Here are my initial, stream of consciousness thoughts at the moment. Subject to change after getting some sleep, clearing my head, going out for some really, really long walks.
-I felt disrespected by Ms. Wonka with her shoving OWName down my throat -It has nothing to do with Ms. Wonka as a person. It has a lot to do with how I perceive the OW and her actions that contributed to the demise of our M. Not cool. -I will not allow Ms. Wonka to try to muzzle my opinions that are authentic and came from the real core inside of my values -I don't see it as a one-way friendship. I see it as an issue of respecting another person's feelings and point of view. I have many other friends where some certain subjects are not brought up because we just know not to go there because of the hurt or what not. -I feel very put off by this latest approach by Ms. Wonka. It feels like she's trying to strong-arm me into accepting the OW and being buddy-buddy with them. NOT!! -It is clear to me that Ms. Wonka may have some expectations and/or assumptions on what a friendship is supposed to look like -She is no longer my #1 -Our friendship will NEVER be the same...ever -It is forever altered -I just don't care to hear about her and OW doing activities/events together. I am just not that enlightened. I am entitled to these feelings. -Trust is broken between us. My walls are up sooooo high...
I struggle with letting down my guard. Just don't know how I want to approach this and if I want some type of friendship with Ms. Wonka after all the cr*p she pulled out while in her Affair Fog.
Right now, I am emotionally spent, tired, cranky.
IF you ask me how I'm feeling, I'd say that I was done with this. I don't need this emotional diarrhea from Ms. Wonka splashing all over me. And I refuse to allow all of that to pollute my energy field.
