I'm definitely not a vet on here, but I can relate to what you are going through. My H has said and done many of the same things - the constant working out, the new clothes, the selfishness, the disrespect, and at times even a disregard for the kids. I also got the ILYBNILWY speech. I also found out that there was in fact an EA going on. Sounds to me like that might be a possibility with your H.
I believe both of our Hs are going through MLCs. You should definitely read DR and go through and read all of the materials Cadet has posted above. I plan to do the same. After you've gotten through some of these materials I would think about setting up a coaching session with one of the DB coaches. They are super nice and will help you get a handle on things. I would stop any kind of pursuing behavior or R talks immediately (that would include asking about the D).
I hope this stuff helps. We can get through this together! Will keep you in my prayers!
