Keeping it real

[Zues126]

Well, 24 hours later I'm coming back to earth. Going back to me.

This last exchange really got me out of the present, and focused on her. Would she postpone the D? Would she find herself? Would she agree to a separation in which we went to counseling and spent time with each other? Would that lead to a reuniting? Would that new marriage work better? Would I be happier? Would my needs get met? Or would it breakdown? And if so, where? AHH!

Man, if I've done one thing right it's to NOT show any of that to her. I will stay poised, cool, calm, collected. I will not pursue. I will react casually, like I could take it or leave it.

And I will continue to work on me. Getting stronger. Meditating. Being a good dad. Maintaining my happiness on my own.

I think that's the biggest. It's so easy to want to say 'oh boy, maybe there's a chance this will work out, so I don't have to be so strong and independent!' But if I don't stay strong and independent it WON'T work out.

Glad I'm meeting with my DB coach tomorrow. Big Mac, when you asked what to do when your STBX says she's lonely I'm right there with you...Stay strong all!