Well, you all can 2x4 me if you want and I probably deserve it. I should just have a talk-only plan on my phone.
Me: (after a brief exchange about kids calling) Do you honestly still want to spend time with me?
Him: I do. Yes. I can say that honestly. But I can't honestly say that I know how to answer in what capacity. I know you want something more concrete than that. I'm sorry I can't give it.
Me: you do not actually know what I want. I wish you would please quit mind reading. It makes things significantly more complicated than they need to be. I actually would consider it very pleasant if I just believed you want to enjoy my company. I can not consider you a romantic contender at the moment. I do not want that when I'm not even sure I can enjoy spending time with you.
Him: I'm not trying to mind read. I was trying to answer your question. I won't try to put words in your mouth. I'm sorry.
Am I trying to draw him closer or push him away? Answer: Relieve pressure by just wanting to be friendly and not pushing the whole marriage thing and ALSO make it clear that I'm NOT Plan B.
I'm glad to be at the end of this day. I think I'll pop open something alcoholic and finish my goofy romance and go to bed early. Tomorrow is IC where I'm sure to hear reinforcement at the idea of keeping off the ring, and more kid stuff and job searching. No, I'm not taking particularly good care of myself at the moment. I'm TIRED.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
