I am SO glad you have someone looking out for you, too, Jacket.
Strangely, you remind me of a friend of mine as well.
You said that it saddens me that you're changing so much (for you and for the better) and it doesn't seem to have any effect on H.
A long time I went to an IC and I was discussing my frustration with how I felt like I'd made some significant changes but that H was acting like I was still my old self. This is basically what she said:
"Let's look at it this way. You've been red all along. Red. Red. Red. Going through life being Red. Then one day you make efforts to become more blue. It's not easy but you're doing it. After some time you're even more blue. Eventually, you're very BLUE and are walking through life as if you're blue and no longer red. Things for you are different because of this. However, your husband still sees you and expects to see you as red. He doesn't see you're blue for a looooong time and in some cases, not until you point it out to him. He may see that you're a little bit purple and then after some time more blue and then eventually very blue. By the time he completely realizes you're totally blue, you've been Blue for a really, really long time."
Get it?
You're turning blue... he only sees that you're still red. MWD says NOT to discuss your changes with your spouse. I think this is good advice but man it's HARD when you just want to point out a little that maybe he could see that you're a little bit purple.
