Hey Dbers, not too much exciting going on around these parts but I'm wondering if anyone has any insights for me.
So my WAH has some stuff at my house still. If you follow my saga you will know that he is occasionally comes by to pick things up as he needs them.
Every time it seems to be a source of weird interactions between us. Although he has the key he seems to prefer to come by when I am home.
At first he would ask if he could come by and get his things and I would say yes, he would show up and I would not be there and he would be surprised. Then he started asking "are you home?" and then saying he wanted to pick something up. But I would never be home so then he usually wouldn't come by unless he needed the item urgently.
Anyway, yesterday he asked "are you home?" I said no and he said he would come by the next day. I said nothing. Then today he again asked "are you home?" I said no and he needed his item urgently so he came by and picked it up. But his texting was cold and rude as if he was irritated that I would not be home waiting for him.
I can't help but wonder what his motive and thinking is. Not that it matters but I don't get it.
Did you ever read or hear about The Rules? Remember that "rule" that a guy should ask a woman for a Saturday date by Wednesday or she should say no? I feel kind of like that. If he wants to see me, why doesn't he simply say hey - let's meet? And if he wants me to be home why does he ask 10 minutes before he arrives?
I could see if I dumped HIM that he would be hesitant, but that is not what happened. I guess if he sees me only for a few minutes when getting something from the house it is low commitment and he can leave anytime but he still gets to test the waters, see if I look hot and then leave. He doesn't have to sit through drinks with me.
Last week when he came by to get something, I was home. We talked for a while and then he left. Then he texted me and said I looked good and it was good to see me. So that made me think he was indeed coming by to check me out and say hello.
Well, like I said it is not a big deal. And soon he will be moving all of his things to his house and this silly game will be over. Then he will really have a problem if he wants to use pretense to check up on me, as there will be no reason.
Oddly I almost feel sorry for him lately, and find myself wanting to be friendly to him. To invite him to parties with friends, to invite him to dinner, to tell him about interesting things I see. But I know he does not deserve my friendship so I restrain myself. But it is difficult! I am maintaining NC, only replying at this point.
I hope all of you, my DB friends, are doing well. I might have to start a new thread soon. I babble too much! Hugs, LisaB
I can't help but wonder what his motive and thinking is. Not that it matters but I don't get it.
And you never will.
Mostly likely he is doing just what you suspect. Wanting to check in on you from time to time. The 10 minutes before could be anything. It could be because he JUST thought of you and it is a spur of the moment type thing. It could be his 'excuse' of 'oh, I was nearby can I pop in to get something'. It could be a million things. Even if it is something else, take it for what it is. An opportunity for him to see you shine without him.
As I said before, you have a really strong tool in your toolbox. And that is you are an attractive fun woman and he is, well, a guy.
Good luck!
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
Yeah I just don't get why he keeps doing the same thing that is not working for him and getting irritated every time. We texted again later about something and he was again cold and rude like he is angry. Whatever! If he's going to be a weird moody asshat then I don't have to engage with him.
Haha, not too much better on my end. But that is mostly just my head vs. any new development.
Keep in him his rudeness and coldness is mostly likely a response to your NC style of texting. Not at all saying quit the NC style texting, but you certainly cannot expect him to be cheerful when he has to wait for your response. It is just a form of pouting. How about I send my W over to your H. Let them have a fling. They deserve eachother right now. haha
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
Keep hanging in there Lisa. It may be time to go on a date, shake you out of your rut. Not stat up an actual, just change the scenario some. Maybe not tho. You need a vet to weigh in on that one.
Try to keep up the PMA.
Me: 34 W:33 T: 10 M: 6 S: 6 D: 5 BD: 5/14 Still together(ish) Not giving up: 7/14 D talk has slowed, a lot. Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms. Slow and Steady wins the race.
I was actually meaning just a random date. Confidence boost for you. But see what some vets think.
Me: 34 W:33 T: 10 M: 6 S: 6 D: 5 BD: 5/14 Still together(ish) Not giving up: 7/14 D talk has slowed, a lot. Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms. Slow and Steady wins the race.
