As long as she is going solely by her FEELINGS, you're going to have a tough row to hoe, OG. Because she has it precisely BACKWARDS: it will take her DECISION (commitment) to work on the marriage with you, and BOTH of you to make positive changes and do the hard work, for her FEELINGS for you to return.
And that could take anywhere from 6 months to 2 years, on average.
Wayward women often compare how their OM makes them "feel" to how their husband makes them feel, and then make a major life decision based on that. Romantic feelings are important to happiness in a marriage, but they ebb and flow over the years, and such feelings should not be the FOUNDATION of a healthy marriage. (Things like respect, shared values & interests, shared family history, etc. should be).
A good IC should tell her that; it sounds like she has a crappy one who is helping her justify her waywardness and running from her family.
