Don't forget that these things take a CRAZY amount of time. She's still totally infatuated with OM and has the infatuation drugs in her brain that go along with it. You can't do anything about it...It's like dealing with an addict.
So - let her go to the addiction.
The drugs wear off, they will have to face the reality of what they've done and how it impacts their families.
You have a big decision at this point, too. She goes - you can decide you're not going to stand anymore. She goes - you can decide you're going to stand for your marriage. She goes - you can decide that you need some time to decide. All work.
But let her go. Don't fight her. THAT ALONE will come as a shock to her. That will be a big 180. "I'm leaving." "Okay. I'm very sad. Our kids will be very sad. This is not what I wanted. But go."
That very act alone might start to put some doubt in her head.
But don't do it for her.
Do it for your own sanity.
Dawgy, ^^^^^this^^^^^ is such good advice. I'm in the same place as you. H is ready to move out and I feel in many ways it's the dealbreaker. That if he walks I'm done, that I'll never get over the damage that causes to our children. But I also know I can't stop it, and I'll just have to decide where I stand when it happens. Some days I'm even ready for him to go. And that's a lot easier than hyperventilating on the floor, which I've done. There's something to be said for preserving your own sanity, for yourself and your kids.
I know the timing s*cks, so close to the start of school, I struggle with that myself. But there's always going to be something. Two of my kiddos have October birthdays, then there's Thanksgiving, then Christmas, then my birthday, then the other kiddo's birthday. There's just not a "good" time. And you have to let that be. For me, BD was Good Friday, and there will never be anything good about that again. In our family Easter picture I'm trying really hard to hold it all together, and the thought of that will mar that lovely day far into the future. It just is.
