Generally, speeches and grand proclamations are a bad idea. The best way to show your wife that you are "moving on" is to actually MOVE ON. Ditto for saying/doing "I've made changes."
You seem to swing wildly from passive Plan A'ing to a very angry, hardline Plan B'ing. My advice for you would be to try to find some equilibrium here, and stay with a loving-but-firm Plan B, without the anger and the grand proclamations.
Remember, she probably doesn't trust your positions right now as you've changed them before as she's done different things to placate you. You will have to demonstrate, over time, that you are serious about your boundaries.
