I found that I was surprisingly NOT into finding out a bunch of details about what my wife and her OM did. Maybe it's because I had so much intel (audio, mostly) that told me far more than I'd ever really want to know. I was more interested in knowing what pre-affair marital dynamics caused her to make such a potentially destructive decision, and what were MY contributions to those, just so we never find ourselves in that godawful place again.
As long as my wife was fully transparent with me (and she was), and she didn't contact OM anymore (after one slip-up -- that she admitted to once I confronted her on it -- she didn't) . . . and as long as I saw effort from her at working on our marriage (which I mostly did) . . . I was okay with that.
It took a long while for our feelings for each other to return and for my TRUST to return, but eventually things turned out even stronger than ever. And any time I DID ask her something about OM, she didn't seem to have a problem answering it.
