Dealing with ongoing affair -which may now be over

[PeterV2]

She was brought up in a Muslim household where the abusive father left when she was 5 and then her victim-mentality mother parentified her and made her look after her older brother, younger sister and of course her mother. Also having to walk to her daddy's house where he lived with his new family and ask him for the support cheque. At 5 years old! Sexually assaulted a couple of times and unable to report to anyone for the shame it would bring the family. She never had a chance for post secondary education as she lived to work and serve her family. Then she married to get away from the family - unfortunately marrying an alcoholic wife-beater. That only lasted a couple of year but he pursued her for a decade including beatings and police restraining orders. Not exactly the Cleaver Family. And after a second relationship with an alcoholic and a resulting bout of stress related maladies, she finally came out on the other side a solid single mom with a brilliant daughter. When her daughter was in high school I came into the picture.

So not sure, Sandi, if your general sociological expressions have a lot of bearing on our sitch, not that I don't agree with your premise. MLC could indeed have a lot to do with it. But I think see does need to find herself as I don't think she had the luxury to be able to do that earlier in her life. So it's her time now. I'll give her the space she needs and support her however I can so she can find peace with herself. That will be a better platform on which to build a new M with me.