I definitely want to ask for more "fun" time. My H's biggest complaint is that there has been too much conflict in our R and it has made him anxious. His solution, via the S, was to limit our interactions so that he could avoid conflict as much as possible. Even the potential for conflict makes him uncomfortably anxious. The problem is that the S itself created a lot of conflict (or potential conflict) that was really unavoidable (discussions about money, childcare arrangements, etc), so while we interact about 1% as much as we did before, the majority of that time has been spent in contentious (or potentially contentious) conversations. There aren't many positive or even neutral interactions to balance it out.
H has been wary of more "dates" because he's afraid that I'll use them for R talk. But, I've yet to actually do that, and we haven't had any other conflict on our dates either. In addition, not having regular dates leads to me feeling neglected and, for lack of a better word, like a doormat (since H has asked me, repeatedly, to wait for him during this S), which makes it more likely that I'll initiate R talk, and then the cycle of anxiety repeats.
So my #1 "want" is to spend more time together having fun. My hope is that the MC will agree. My H likes to be challenged (just not by me!), so my hope is that the MC will encourage him to try this and see if it's helpful.
My other "want", at the moment, is to come to some kind of agreement about how to end contentious conversations without my H just shutting down and withdrawing. (I feel like there's a term for this -- "exiting conflict," maybe?) But that might be too much for the first session.
This is a new MC for us, but I got his name from the Marriage Friendly Therapists referral site. When I phone-screened him, he said that he will fight for my M as long as I want to, so he sounds like a good egg.
