Dealing with WAW part 5

[pilot]

Hey Pilot!
Just getting caught up here on your sitch. I am, by no means, the best advice-giver here but I do believe that this, from the convo your WAW had with her friend, is something to think on...

2. She said my W explained to her that the reason she is dragging out the D by not serving me papers, and waiting 3-4 more months to file here in our new state is that she wants to spare my feelings and not be rude by rushing this D through quickly. She thinks it would be easier on me if it did not happen so quick. That she knew I was hurting and did not want to rub salt in the wound.

I think in this case you may want to act like you are cool with the divorce now. My WAW acts the same way, acts like she has this power to hurt me and likes to be "merciful." I wouldn't allow this mentality. In my opinion it gives WAW an upper hand, makes her think you are at her mercy. Again, maybe vets here will offer different advice but to me I think allowing WAW to be in a place where she thinks her actions can "spare you" of hurt is not good. I think it might knock her socks off if you started acting as if you don't want this thing delayed and drawn out forever.

I acted this way with my WAW, like I was at a place where although she knew I didn't initially want a D, that if it was decided it was going to happen, then make it happen fast so it doesn't drag out. I acted like I had accepted it and it wasn't the end of my world. My WAW was clearly was agitated after awhile by this. She would say things like "You know you could act like this bothers you at least a little bit! Instead you're all upbeat and ready for a new life!" She was annoyed that I was fine with the D even though I really wasn't. I just feel like if your WAW was comfortable acting like she is "sparing" you hurt while talking to her friend, that she feels like she has the upper hand and in a way has the power to hurt you. I don't think this is a good idea in my opinion. However as I said, the vets here may say otherwise but this is how I see this. I hope you keep your cool my friend. I'm rooting for you!

I hear what you are saying, and I have really thought about this course of action. Basically it would require me to answer the petition, and act as if...

It would in essence be a giant bluff. If this was a poker game, the cards I am holding are not winning cards. The logic is sound though.

Maybe a vet will chime in... I have probably until Friday before any other interaction with my W occurs (other than her sending a text to facetime with the kids.) Friday night S5 has a new parents BBQ followed by the high school football game for his school. I am sure she will want to attend as well. So at least I have some time to consider my next move.