Dealing with WAW part 5

[ItHurts]

Hey pilot, how was the beach?

Interesting about WAW seemingly not wanting you to see her place. I kind of act like this with my H so maybe she is just feeling angry or something and wants to mess with you. Or maybe her house is not clean and she doesn't want you to see that. Who knows.

I find the advice from ItHurts to be very interesting. The whole thing with this DB, at least for some of us, is acting as if we have moved on, don't care and are cool with the D situation. In my opinion, at least for some of us, this is the best way to behave. If we stay cool and unbothered it may make the WAS wonder why and maybe second guess their own decision. However, sometimes we may push that "I don't care" too far - in my case maybe my kissing adventure and in your case planting the seed of another woman. But if so we can only test the waters and then try something different right?

Keep on keeping on as they say. Try something different. Maybe NC for a minute?

Hope the beach was fun!
Hugs, Lisa

Yeah I mean as I said, I am by NO MEANS an expert as nothing I have done has worked so far. So keep that in mind. I've screwed up royally a couple of times, most recently getting into with my WAW in text a couple days ago when she started giving me crap about my lady friend. The conversation exploded and it probably wasn't a good thing. However yes, I DEFINITELY noticed that my WAW was not pleased one bit when she perceived that I had accepted the divorce and moved on. Of course all of this happened back in the June era of my sitch which is documented somewhere here in the 4 threads of my saga.

I mean there's always gray area and that's what complicates things. You can go too far with any DB technique. However in my personal experience, acting as if I accepted that my WAW wanted a D and then moving on to a "well since this is definitely what you want, let's get it over with A.S.A.P." attitude; it definitely got a reaction out of her.

Now as far as a lady friend goes, again, this has yielded me good results thus far with my WAW. She is certainly bothered by it and she makes that clear...again you can go read my most recent interaction with her in my last post in my own thread. So I think the threat of a LF can work in Pilot's favor. If nothing else, it's someone to talk to and something to take your mind off WAW. My only recommendation is to be COMPLETELY HONEST with lady friend, let her know you still have feelings for WAW, she will appreciate your honesty and may even, as in my case, "wait" for you. There is no way I would mislead my lady friend, she doesn't deserve that and honesty always impresses a woman...especially when it's honesty regarding something that one could easily belittle or outright lie about...such as still having feeling for WAW.

So again, I am not an expert here as I've backslid a few times in recent weeks, and none of this has worked for me so far because my WAW is still moving to FL and the divorce is still almost final in November. I am just offering advice based on my observations of my own WAW and she clearly was annoyed with me going along with everything and clearly annoyed I am seeing another woman. So I figure annoying her indirectly like this is something SHE needs to reflect on and it can't hurt for her to ask herself why she cares about these things if indeed she desires to be free of you, which is obviously what a divorce initiator wants. So heed my advice with caution and if a vet chimes in and says something different, I would definitely listen to them over me.

I am hoping things improve for you Pilot!