You're right, I can be impulsive/compulsive. I've learned to put a stop to all compulsive behavior around sex, shopping, going out, travel, porn, etc. In fact, the only think I'm compulsive about now is my Ex.
I. CAN'T. STOP. THINKING. ABOUT. HER.
It takes the joy out of every moment. So, I fight back. And I send an apology letter when you all say I shouldn't. And I write even more elaborate and detailed letters to her that I never send -- letters telling her overcoming this issue is how we will grow as people and as a couple. Etc etc...
I go to therapy, I go to 12 step. I try to help people with their problems as a way of getting out of my head and healing from mine. But my depression around pushing my Ex away is only getting worse, not better.
DB
Me: 39 - W: 35 Together: 2 years, no kids My Affair: 1.5 years Affair ended: 4/9/14 Affair revealed: 5/19/14 Last Contact: 8/2/14
