I believe women use to be taught that W's are suppose to adapt to the H's life. Everything centered around him. When I was a kid, even the TV shows had the man as the center theme........shows like "Father Knows Best" and "Make Room for Daddy". It has taken a couple of generations to break free of the 50's image. Some of it has been for the better, but some should have stayed in place.
I think there are women who were raised with some of that old traditional background and later they were exposed and educated to the more liberated, modern female. I can see where it could cause a woman who is in your W's age bracket to question and re-evaluate a lot of things when she is so unhappy.
On one hand it sounds a little rediculus for a middle age woman to say she needs to "find herself" or she feels lost. There have been too many WAW's who have made that statement to ignore the message that they are in trouble. Look at how things have changed. It use to be almost commonplace to think it would be the man who would stray. But just look at the majority of threads on our board. For years it has been the women who are restless, confused, unhappy, having heart attacks b/c of too much pressure, and suffering MLC. I remember when you never associated a MLC with women. We women had menopause and men had the MLC. Now, women get equal rights. We get to have menopause and MLC! (Somehow, it doesn't seem equal.)
IDK if this is due to how our world has become with all the pressures, or the shift in society's viewpoints and the job description for our roles. I think it gets blurred for a lot of couples. I do think the institutions of marriage and family are in serious trouble......and I am definitely concerned about the women in our society.
No advice here, Peter. Just expressing some thoughts I've had for a long time.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
