Barrybran - [Insert Original Thread Title Here]

[Barrybran]

Journaling:

I had a bit of an awkward moment the other day. My wife went out with friends and I had the house to myself. I got home after she left for the night and since her car was there but not her keys I figured she'd need a lift home. I went to bed early because I was shattered and managed to get a couple of hours sleep before the phone call came. I went and collected my wife and her friend, dropped her friend off, went home and went to bed. My wife sent a drunken text message asking if I'd sleep in her bed (to sleep, not sex). After missing the last invite a couple of months ago I wanted to make a point of joining her so I did and she was asleep shortly after I joined her. It was nice to be back in her bed again though I'd woken up just enough to have trouble getting back to sleep. I had work at 6am so I was up and out of bed before she woke up.

After work I got home, we chatted and a while later she asks off the cuff if I slept in her bed or whether she was dreaming. I told her about her text messages and showed her. It wasn't too nice knowing that she didn't remember asking. I feel that there's always a bit of truth when people say things when they're drunk though so I get the impression that I've been on her mind but she's keeping the walls up for a little longer yet.

I've been working pretty hard lately and it, uni work and the kids/housework have taken their toll on me a bit. I came up with an idea to skip town for a couple of days in the upcoming school holidays and voiced this to my wife. She suggested a location and I started looking for accommodation. It's a stretch for us at the moment money-wise and it's not something I'd normally do. I do need a break though and I want to spend some quality time with my wife and kids away from the grind of home.

I suggested the coast and the location my wife suggested is a holiday spot her Dad used to spend time in as well as being half an hour away from where her Dad's ashes have been entombed. My wife hasn't been back there since her family laid his ashes last year and it would be good for my wife and son in particular to go there. My wife specifically mentioned visiting her Dad when suggesting the location.

Since the initial conversation, my wife has had a fair bit on her mind; some pretty important stuff too. My weekend getaway is trivial in comparison. It's important to me though as I won't have another opportunity to go away with the kids until Christmas and we definitely will be busy at that time. My wife has voiced a lot of her thoughts to me and I have listened. I've voiced some things to my wife and I don't feel listened to. In the past I'd distance myself out of protest and recognising those feelings again I understand that I am going to have to voice my feelings to her this time. I feel good about what I want to say. I'm hoping she still wants to come. Whether she does or not I have a couple of ideas about when I want to go away so I can organise the time off with my boss and plan things accordingly.

We've got a big week ahead of us. My wife should receive her redundancy payout this week or next which will clear our credit cards and give us some breathing room. My wife has a job interview on Saturday which looks promising (and also gives me a chance to do some much needed personal shopping!) and she has also applied for another job which she'll be a shoe-in for. I think things will start to look up for her though both jobs come with short-term logistical challenges with longer-term opportunities.