I know my H personality and if I were to do that- he would say forget it and not even try. He would think that I am pulling away and not wanting to commit to my marriage. I tried not communicating with him for a couple of weeks and he became very frustrated and angry with me- and ready to pull the plug. Is that supposed to be the effect of ending communication???
I didn't read this post this morning. I want to touch on this part.
You said that you know your H's personality. Has he been in this type of situation before? Curious to know if you have something similar in his history to reference.
See, you conveyed your concern that he would feel that you are pulling away and giving up on your marriage. It is a common fear to have and to operate from, as a LBS. You will find that in most situations on this forum.
You asked if him being frustrated and angry is the effect of you stopping communication. Of course he is gonna get frustrated, because you aren't going along with his plan. I am gonna be honest with you. You are enabling him. He is in the middle of an affair that you are aware of. You are allowing him have his cake and eat it too. There isn't a whole lot in your situation to motivate him to make a change.
Now, I would go with the dinner as planned, however I wouldn't continue doing those things.
One thing that doesn't get mentioned much, is that us LBSes are in our own emotional fog early on. We operate in fear of pushing our WASes further away. The reality is that they can't be pushed much further if they have walked out the door or are already in another relationship. Just some food for thought.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
