It sounds like she wants to be the controller of the information. That is punitive.

HOWEVER, you can only control you. You have ZERO control over her and her actions, no matter how punitive or P/A.

What can you do differently, Bob?

M: 37 H: 36
M: 13 T: 18
D: 7
Bomb: 6/30/14
Separation: 8/11/14

Be strong enough to let go and wise enough to wait for what you deserve.