Enjoy your family. Have a few laughs and some fun!
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
OK, I'm noticing something from the MLCer. XH has texted me 4 days this week. VERY UNUSUAL! As mentioned earlier, he texted s and said, "I just miss you two so much." Referring to the two kids, of course.
But, what is going on? Probably nothing.... other than he misses the kids. But his text messages are not really necessary. For example, this morning:
h: (I keep doing that..) ahem, pardon me while I correct myself and restart... again...
OK, so this morning at 9:40AM:
XH(!): Is Dom home? He usually responds when I say goodnight and didn't last night. I got a late night call from an unknown number.
me: He is sleeping. He was home last night by 9:30. Wasn't him.
XH: OK. Thanks
First of all, he has no idea about the kids whereabouts and has not been one bit concerned about where s is at night, even when I have called him in the past that s was drunk out of his mind. He did not text me until the next day and said, "Not good." Of course that was the day he was leaving for his cruise (which I didn't know then), so he had other things on his mind.
And I know for a fact that s does not always respond to his text messages. And seriously, s calling him in the middle of the night from an unknown number? H text me at 9:40AM to find out? Was he really THAT concerned? Maybe hww was concerned who it was?? Whatever....
I'm sure it's nothing, but I do pay attention to these things. If not for anything, for document purposes here. I am not sure really how to respond. I show zero concern or emotion. Donno...
Anyway. I had a nice time with the fam today. I did leave for a little bit to run to Target. While I was there, this guy kept following me around. He was an employee there and kept blockading the isle on me. Finally I was coming around another corner and he was there. He asked me if I was "attached" to anyone. I said yes (easiest response) and he said, "Oh, I was thinking we could exchange numbers."
Let me explain to you why this upset me. I am not judgmental, by any means. Please, I hope no one gets offended here. Not one of these things is really bad, but when you put them together... well... not my thing.
OK, so he was probably 20 years older than me... at least. He had a full head of gray curly hair. He was scrawny with blood-shot eyes, and the pungent odor of Jack Daniel's emanating from his breath gave me a buzz. But, it clearly did not impair his ability to walk a straight line down the isle all while continuing to stock the shelves in the bathroom department. (Yes, I was buying things for my NEW bathroom!! It ended prematurely, needless to say.)
He was soooooo friggin creepy! He was scary and really freaked me out! I went straight to the check out line. I was done. What a wimp I've become! AND.... while I was in line, I started to cry! OMG, I'm such a baby. I was the one who never cried... people thought I didn't have a soft side... now, I'm mush. But, I was thinking about how xh is in a r with a 20 something and here I am, alone again (I'm OK being alone, I'm just sick of doing some of the house things alone- always making the decisions. It takes the fun out). Is this what I have to look forward to? Is this going to be my life and these are my prospects. I have been asked out by 2 guys. BOTH of them are old and creepy. Not that I'm ready for that... but I would be nice to be noticed by someone younger than my dad. I really don't even think I look old. Yesterday at s17 game, I was talking to the athletic director and another mom asked him if I was his daughter. He joked and said, "Yes, can you believe she's already 18?!" So I don't get it. I guess I just feel so rejected already... replaced by the *shiny new* and to think.... ewwwwww... lets not think!
I need to go to new places. I'm not looking, but I'm not looking to be picked up by that, either. Maybe I should join a convent.
AND to add to that.... s17 has not responded to xh at all today. I don't know what xh said to s the other day when he was upset, but s must not be happy with him. S does not like to talk to me about it (and we have a very/close r, but I just think this whole thing is so upsetting, he does not really know how to handle it. He does go to c, though). S showed me his response to xh when xh texted that he missed them so much. S said, "I don't blame you. I'm cute as hell." (and I think that's the last thing s has said to xh) OMG... that kid is something else.
M, I'm sorry you're having those sad moments realizing the things you have to do alone. I can relate to your feelings. It makes me so sad and angry all at once. And, like you, I suddenly come to the realization at the most random times.... In line at Target, as you said, and I lose it. I'm a partner gal. I loved being a team. I didn't depend on him, but I enjoyed it. I looked forward to errands together. As nerdy as that sounds, I felt good with my best friend. I don't need to be with anyone, and I know this. I WANT my h. I will choose to be in a relationship, but not because I can't be happy otherwise.
When I've received the same type of uninvited attention as you did, I wondered if that was my "market" (as I have affectionately termed it) since they tend to be about 20 years older than me, too... Or perhaps they just don't have the inhibitions the younger ones have and come on stronger....idk. It is a creepy feeling, though.
Aloneness.....Such a tough adjustment, isn't it? And so unnecessary. Although this would have happened to them regardless of us, as I understand it, it still feels so immature and silly that we can't just work things out as adults.....because they're not adults anymore.... Ugh.
When we see what logically, seems to be a simple solution (come to terms with your past, take responsibility for your mistakes and learn, get some coping skills, be forgiven and move forward) .... It really is not that simple at all. They are doing the best they can. I truly believe they get so tangled they have no idea what to do. So they continue to be confused and spin, do strange things.... And we can't tell them or fix them.
REGARDING THE CREEPY DUDES..... Ignore the ones that are giving you the uninvited attention right now. That isn't about you. It's about them. They are either just socially awkward and trying to be friendly, or just want to see if a pretty younger woman will give them the time of day. Either way, they behave that way because of their own life-experience-movie playing in their heads. It's their own insecurities and needs trying to be met. Try not to overthink it. Easy to do when we are rejected, tho. We naturally wonder who wants us now, and the ones who come across the loudest are not the only men out there worthy of us. Definitely take the compliment, because I'm sure you're a hot mama!
Again, M, I'm sorry for your tough day, confusing calls and texts....
Not sure convent life is going to be the answer for you Tempting, tho, ain't it?
Ha! Thanks, Shining. You are right on. Yeah, just like the psychic lady told me about my past life I was a "bad nun." No doubt I still would be.
The good news about being alone... I can chose what I want! I tried to get my kids to come help me pick out shower curtains and bathroom stuff, since it is their bathroom Eh... not so much. They were not into it. Go figure. I thought every 13 & 17 year old would be excited. NO?
I'm good, though. I don't mean to come across as so down. I'm generally not. I just have my moments. Aren't you lucky you get to read about them? Really, you don't have to... BUT... thanks for sticking with me!
I laughed at your creepy man story not because it's a funny story but because somehow I seem to attract some weirdos, too. It's hard not to ask yourself, "what vibe am I giving off if this guy is like, 'yeah, i'm going to go get me some o'that'?" I have trouble saying "No" and I do not have a good poker face so my anxiety goes through the ROOF in situations like that.
While my H is not (that I know of) in a relationship with anyone let alone someone 20 years my junior, at BD he did tell me that he was leaving and that I should see him as doing me a favor because women in their mid to late 30s are approaching "past their prime" and that I should be grateful that I have some "attractive years left" to find someone else. Wasn't it so nice of him to consider me in his BD?
What?! OMG.. Thanks for the "favor" buddy! WTF?! Yeah, I get totally freaked out by some of these guys. One of them kept coming by my house! I would be outside mowing and he would pull up and sit there until I acknowledged him! I was sooo weirded out. And my kids would be around. Thank goodness they never say him, my son would have probably gone off. He has quite the temper these days and is very protective of me. Yikes!
Oh, btw... hww is only 11 years younger (in her 20's). If she were 20 yrs younger, he'd be probably picking her up from high school, along with my son! Yes, hww is closer to s age than xh. Probably weirdest for s.
And yes! You get it! I'm thinking... what the heck am I doing? What vibe am I giving here? Go away creeps! My xh used to say, what the heck is going on? Every time you go to the store, you come back and tell me about some creep checking you out at the store. Now, they are approaching me! Aaahhh! Maybe I SHOULD wear a ring while I shop. It could be my kryptonite ring.
I like the idea of the kryptonite ring! Thanks for the heads up of creepy old men going to hit on me (I still wear mine, for 60 more days )
Even though they are creepy...no it really doesn't help the self-esteem, never mind...lol!
Anyways, you don't really seem down, just stuck in a moment. These darn MLCers always throwing something into our lives to get us all emotional and confused.
Hope you are able to get the rest of your bathroom goodies without getting hit on again by Creepy
Last edited by Atsbaby; 09/01/1404:04 AM.
Atsbaby M:36 H:35 T: 19 M:12 S:11 D:9 BD: 5/4/14 Proof of OW 8/13/14-love note from her 8/19 admits OW 8/22/14 files D w/o telling me 9/20/14 Says he wants to reconcile
Help! XH took kids shopping today. I was at work when he picked them up. In the past the few times he has come to see/get kids, he would honk the horn in the driveway (true gentleman).
However, today, because I was at work, he came into the house. The whole house! Walked across the house and went upstairs and everything. I am so uncomfortable with this!
I was going to text something like:
I'm glad you and the kids got together today. They had a good time. In the future, please do not come into the house.
Tempting, tho, ain't it?
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