Been away for the weekend with my kids, and went "unplugged". Quality time with my kids keeps me going through this mess.
Thanks for the support with respect to continuing my actions with the kids, and being consistent with her. I agree to be wary about believing anything she says. I don't. She did get me a BD card, signed it love, and gave me a gift from the kids and a small token from her. It made me cry when I read it. I was upset with myself for crying in front of her, but hey I'm human. She asked if she could give me a hug. In a weak and vulnerable moment I accepted it. I do think it's positive that we have had no negative interactions. That being said, I'm really not reading anything into this.
My confusing line about needing to wait, has to do with the optimal time to file for D for me. Obviously, I'm not interested in doing that, but it appears she wants to pick things up, and get things done as fast as possible. I'm taking a slow and steady cautious approach.
With respect to being the man no woman would want to leave, the things I am working on right now, include being a great father, being a great listener, being active and involved in my kids lives, and being present. In the past I used to always be thinking about the future. Now I try to focus on enjoying and appreciating things as they occur, and making things occur more often. I am continuing to work on "saying what I mean". In the past I would try to limit pain to my W, so I would often do or say things that might not have been truly how I felt, but were designed to eliminate or reduce her discomfort.
Bottom line this created a disingenuous Dev. Now, I am genuine and comfortable with saying what I believe, and listening to the other side. I realize it's not imperative to agree, that the real success in a relationship is how compromise and negotiation occur.
Hope that helps. As always Wonka, thanks for checking in. School starts this week, schedule in place. Let's see what the fall brings.
