SO wow .. things seem to have sped up a bit. I went ot my IC appt Saturday morning, rode the Harley and my IC noiticed right off as it was something I have been talking about. I told her about the DB and even gave her some credit as she has been pushing me to GAL since I started. The Harley was a huge step for me, it was a 180 (I never do things for myself) ... was a GAL ... helped me tremendously with regaining my self confidence. SO after my IC appt I realized that I allow WAW to cake eat when it suits her ... my IC also pointed out I wrestle with wanting to be there for the W .. and wanting to let her fall ... all true. SO the W wanted a couple hours from the S (She had him the past 2 days with school being out ... I met her at her gym, went and took S to lunch and ran some errands. She came to my place and picked him up and once again brought up the zoo and doing something up .. this time in front of S ( Power play here as to throw some guilt my way) I told S to go upstairs so W and I could talk. Boundary setting time .... I told W ... I would LOVE to spend time as a family but as I mentioned previously in the week I would not do the fake family and fill her emotional need cup only to be cast aside as she has done over and over again in the past. I told her if she wanted to try, I would be all in, and try is not just spend time, its actual dates, actual talking, reconnecting her and I as a couple ... not just a family (This really seemed to grab her attention ... I did something different ... and it looked to get a positive reaction) So I went further .. I told her I would not be there for her if she was in the A. I also would need proof that it was over, she understood my lack of trust and asked how she could prove it as it is actually over and has been. I told her the NC letter ... this did not go over well as she felt it was controlling and made her feel weak ... I told her it was not for her.. it was for me, used the fact that she drive 45 minutes each way to work, how am I to know she is not chatting it up with him. so we went around a little on that ... I got up and went outside just to make sure my emotions were in check.
She opened up a bit and told me she wanted to try, so I told her that she needs to set up the MC appt (I set the last 2) ... we comprimised on the NC letter, taking this opportunity during a long weekend to be together as a family, I did tell her I was serious about the letter and after Monday we would revisit the talk.
So Last night I picked her and the S up, Took them to Old Town, nice vibe, and we had a wonderful dinner, after dinner we walked around and she window shopped (Something that I never cared for .. 180... but I also joined in) .... it actually felt like a real date, she walked close to me, took my hand and we talked like we used to. Huge step ... I know I know .. slow .. but this was a big step forward.... no stress nor pressure.
This morning we went to church .. first time that I can recall .. she sat next to me instead of placing S between us.
I am really happy with the progress .. I know there is tons more work to do here, for both of us, seems me asking her out on dates, treating her like a date has been the one thing I was missing .... I can not push here .. but there was actually some subtle flirting going on between us ... we may watch a redbox movie tonight .. I am not counting on doing anything .. but she suggested it ... we will see ... and there is the zoo tomorrow. then the weekend is over and I know the routine during the week will test me .. but this is the best position I have been in since the BD last year.
