Chapter 3 Emotional Reativity Old Brain vs New Brain Communications
Chapter 4 Being Defensive Chapter 5 Togetherness Balancing I and We
Chapter 6 Who is to Blame Stating your position without Blaming Venting to your Partner - not when marriage is in turmoil Clearly stating your "I" position Confronting yourself
Chapter 7 Using your Anger constructively Anger = Unrealized Expectations
Chapter 8 Pursuit and Distance************** The most important chapter in the book For every action there is a reaction 80% of Men are sexual pursuers and emotional distancers The more you pursue the further the distancer moves away. Pursurers and Distancers exist in almost all relationships How to stop pursuit and distance - must come from the pursuer. Distancers tend to change in direct proportion to how much they are pursued Traits of Distancers and Pursurers
Chapter 9 Stopping Pursuit Never pursue a distancer Different phases of distance and pursuit
Conclusion Separation and Reconcilliation Do not drop your changes
This book really excited me and really brought together the concepts that we learn. Detachment is key to not pursuing. The traits in Chapter 8 really help me in what changes I need to make in ME! Phil Deluca is the first person who really explained what "the changes" are that you need to make when you look in the mirror. It is not going on a diet or to stop smoking. (although you can do those too) It is stop your pursuit!!!!
