Pilot as usual I agree with you. And hey I even understand it! That is why I let the guy kiss me yesterday, we all need a little affection.
The point you make here is key though: "The HUGE HUGE downside is, and most guys will never talk about this, is that it leaves you with a huge void, often bigger than the one you are trying to fill. By that I mean not only is it an empty meaningless relationships, but if FEELS empty and meaningless relationship. Once the sex is over, you cannot wait to get away."
I totally understand that too. It feels right in the moment but later you feel worse. Same as eating too many cookies. haha.
Thank you as always for your insight into the male mind/body
As far as his relationship with OW, from what I know she does not want a committed relationship with him but is willing to have sex and spend time with him as a friend. He is also helping her with her business. In my opinion, because she and I were friends and I knew about her dating past, she likes him as a friend, is using him for help and having sex with him for fun until she meets someone she likes better. I think he is somewhat aware of all this, or he is choosing to believe what she told him: that she doesn't believe in commitment and wants an open relationship. ha. Too funny since she was recently in a longterm relationship and got dumped and was heartbroken. He is quite innocent when it comes to women and their manipulative games. Other girlfriends have done the same to him in the past.
Oh and thanks for giving me props for the way I handled his anger. Of course that was 100% DB training. Validate, do not argue. Thank heaven for this forum.
The game continues. But I do feel pretty good about it at this point. The last few days I have felt more and more like the winner in this scenario than the loser. As miserable as I have been, it is clear that he is miserable as well. Maybe not because of me, maybe because of OW, who knows. But through my misery I have looked inside myself and found strength, joy and motivation. He has not.
And perhaps I am better off without him anyway I am starting to see. There are more fish in the sea. It is hard to catch a terrific one, but I can always try.
Thanks pilot! Hope your weekend was good, I'm going to hop over and check your thread.
