WAH - chapter 3

[pilot]

Thanks cq1! It is nice to hear good things about one's self.

Lisa, you are doing great. I knew your H would be a puppy dog around you. And as much as i know you are feeling great about the prospects of reuniting, and as much as I really really hope you get there, I want to just say do not read too much into his actions. I say this because his actions at the party were based on jealousy. And jealousy is NOT a foundation for a lasting relationship. His fear of someone else having you is not a strong enough basis to keep a M together.

Now, that being said, what he did exhibit was really good news for you. It showed he does still care about you and he does still have feelings for you. He has not detached from you and moved on as you might have previously thought. Your task now is to use what you have learned and find a way to light the pathway home for your H. Harder than it sounds though. Because right now your H has not done any work on himself. And for all we know, he may still not be ready to R.

Lisa you know I am 100% in your corner and I am not trying to bring you down off your PMA right now. I just wanted you to be aware of how a guy thinks. You played the party off perfectly. Now that a day or two has passed, your H is either having second thoughts about his actions and losing you, or he may not be having any thoughts at all anymore. You are once again, out of sight out of mind. By that I mean at the party, you were the best 'option' there in his eyes. Now that he is not at the party, that 'option' is no longer being dangled in front of him. Think of it this way. It is much easier to say 'no, I do not care to have steak for dinner tonight' before you throw one on the grill. But take a nice steak off the grill and put it in front of you and try saying no to it. I want you to savor your great efforts, but I want you to also temper expectations. To declare you believe he will want to reconcile because of one party potentially sets you up for a heart break. But more importantly, the expectation could potentially affect your DB efforts which you have been doing so well at. Sandi often cautions LBSs to NOT jump at positive signs too soon, and notes that many who do, end up doing a lot of back tracking. Remember, it took a lot to get the WAS to where they are now, and it will take a lot for them to come back.

Again Lisa, please do not take my post as negative. Let's just look at it as you won a big game this weekend. Celebrate, but come Monday morning, you have a brand new game to prepare for.