You are putting pressure on yourself. It's as if you feel you have to forgive right now.......right this minute.....and resume your life with WAH. I still say you are rushing the process and even though the two of you have good times (which is wonderful) there are some things that can't be pushed.

I respect the fact that you recognize what you have to do in order to have a relationship that is "real" with him. It is difficult to force feelings out of ourselves or anyone else. As a wayward WAW, who had decided to stay in my M, I knew I needed to be remorseful......and even prayed to be forgiven and to feel remorse for my actions. I was going through all the right steps, but the resentment of the past continued to reign in my spirit. What worked for me, was reading all the heart break from the LBH'S here on the board, then mentally connect it with what I had done to my H. I was actually working toward getting to the place I felt remorse and also be able to forgive him. And it still took a loooooong time before I could give a genuine apology and show remorse to my H.

I only told you this to let you know that although I wore a different pair of shoes, I can understand about trying to force feelings where the issues are unresolved. I do believe we should make the choice & decision to forgive, and allow time for the feelings to catch up with the decision. Sometimes, it is easier said than done b/c we women have so much feelings tied to everything that involves us. I am praying that you will have a very good MC who will help both of you. You deserve happiness and peace.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!