The gift of time . . .

[gan]

Thanks for stopping by my thread, Elsa. There do seem to be a lot of commonalities in our R.

I had the same revelation about 1-2 months pre-BD re H's withdrawal being his natural coping mechanism….which let to the revelation that my way of coping is the exact opposite (I turn to him to talk it out and get a hug) unless I am super angry in which case I also withdraw….and the final revelation that I would try to make up using the approach I needed (pursue him) and not what he needed (time to work it through himself).

Have you read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus? Very annoying book in many ways but it did help me recognize this dynamic. And since I hadn't found DB at the time, it was the reason why I did try to back off and let him withdraw after BD rather than doing my usual (though I was not always able to stop myself).