I've only been following DB for a couple of months, so I'm no expert or vet yet. But I would not try to win him back while he's with OW. He is just going to cake-eat. He gets to have exciting weekends with his GF and then get a nice home-cooked meal on occasion from his W? That's a WAH's dream. It would only prolong the A as his EN's (emotional needs) would be met in spades - no reason to change anything. It might even feel like you approve of the A.
I have a PI investigating a possible A by my WAW. If I get confirmation, here will be my course of action:
- Expose the A. OM's family (W, mother, friends, whoever I can talk to), WAW's family, my family. I've seen that this can help expedite the ending of the A as it eliminates the fun of secrecy and causes lots of other problems for the two in the A. - Demand that the A end immediately and that all contact permanently cease. - If WAW does not agree to that in a short time frame (1 week), I will cut off all direct contact with her until the A is over. All necessary communication (daughter) would go through an intermediary.
Card,
I agree with the first part of your post. I disagree with exposing the affair to anyone, other than letting your W know you are aware of it if that is what your P.I. discovers. Starsky is really good with how to handle this type of situation. Read some of his posts.
I think exposing it to others will cause more damage than you hope. To be frank, it portrays you as manipulative and controlling.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
