But I guess my biggest concern is that he is living with this woman. I feel as though I don't have much of a chance when he is with her constantly.
I am reading "Divorce Busting" and reading threads..... I know I have things that I will change--- what things did your wife do that made you take notice and took your attention away from your GF and give your attention to your wife?
H spends all weekend with her. Has yet to try and spend time with our kids.....
I called him today and asked if he would like to come over to dinner this week- making one of his favorites- so that he could spend time with the kids.... he did accept- so we'll see....
secondt...I realize that you want this to resolve quickly, however there is no magic bullet. It took a lot of time for your marriage to get to this point and it is going to take a lot of time to get to the other side.
Remember I was originally the LBS, so I can probably relate more to you, than to your H. My W was in the midst of an affair, which lasted over a year. I did not know about it for about 9 months. Probably didn't want to believe it to be more accurate. She filed for D, moved 1200 miles away, and eventually I was ordered to send my children to her by the judge.
The biggest mistake I made, was to allow FEAR to be my navigational guide. It cost me a lot of money and time with my children. Looking back, I enabled a lot of her behavior. That was a big revelation to me. I would have done things differently knowing what I know now.
Why do I tell you this? For two reasons: 1. It wasn't until I detached and dropped the rope that things changed in my situation. See, I wasn't looking at what my W was doing or not doing. As long as my kids were being cared for, it didn't matter. I just knew life wasn't as bad as I had feared. Quite frankly, I was beginning to enjoy and embrace my new life. 2. I highly suggest that you set boundaries. For example, not having dinner with him or spending time as a "family" while he is involved with OW, otherwise you enable his behavior.
You can read the last few post in my thread to get an idea why I chose to work things out with my W.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
