Thanks, Heather. I'm getting there. I'm working on me and becoming all of who I want to be. Sometimes, though, I do get lonely. I think that means I still have work to do.
Got a text yesterday from xh about financial/loan stuff. He was very polite, and seems to be much softer than he used to be. He was sooo aggressive the past year, but even so before mlc, when it came to business stuff and getting things taken care of. Now, it is much different, even though communication is extremely minimal. I don't give much. My responses are limited to one word or one sentence. Not mean, just to the point. For example, he said a loan wasn't paid off, so I called my bank. They emailed me a copy of the deposited check from the bank. I just forwarded the email from the bank and said, "See attached."
I did have to call the bank and they needed his permission to speak with him. I had to get a supervisor on the phone and asked him to call xh to get permission (this way I avoided speaking with him). They did and xh gave permission for them to speak with me about the account.
He did text me, "thanks" and things like that. I left it as, "It is all taken care of." I don't want to correspond like we are friends. At this point, there is no kind of relationship at all. If he really wants to have a cordial r with me, he needs to step up and be accountable. Everything ended without discussion. I know a lot of people did have "talks" about their r, even if it was to end it. That never really happened with us. There was bd, of course, but that was like 2 seconds- "I want a divorce! I don't love you." and he went to sleep. We did the yo-yo thing for months, hanging out, being friendly, all that jazz. Went on vacation, then got a text, "I made an appointment with a mediator." That was that. No discussion as to why he decided after months to do that. Nothing. We all know why now. That's the only discussion we really had, was in July- AND IT WASN'T EVEN ABOUT US! It was a 2 min convo about him and hww. Wow, 19 years and nothing. Oh, of course I did get the "I'm sorry" text. WTF is that? For what, specifically? I'd really like to know. Maybe I don't.
Anyway... I know not seeing the kids is really getting to him. They are simply treating him the way he treated them for months. I don't get involved. He decided he didn't want to communicate with me about the kids and it backfired. Now they just tell him they are too busy to see him. The kids rarely say anything to me about him or the sitch at all.
S did show me a text yesterday from xh. It is very rare for him to do so. He is way more reserved about this than d. S told me h called him yesterday and asked him to do something. S said he didn't know, he had to see what he had going on first. I guess xh got really upset with him. XH texted s last night apologizing for getting upset. He said, "I just really miss you two."
He certainly wasn't worried about that for quite awhile. I guess he is realizing he can't control everyone and everything. He is so used to people doing what he wants and will bully his way to get it. He can't do that with this, not with the kids when he knows he is so wrong. It is definitely a very new and different experience for him. He totally has his tail between his legs when it comes to them. Very unusual.
He also texted d yesterday around 4PM. He asked her to go shopping. She said no, and he was upset about that too. I just though, wow, he and hww must not have Friday night plans. I'm sure it is a VERY different life than the one he THOUGHT he was going to have. HWW has her 2-year-old on a "very strict" schedule, and I think he goes to sleep at like 7:30. Even if they got a babysitter, she is pregnant, works full-time, has a toddler, she probably isn't a ball of fun and energy. But.... what do I know? She must be fantastic.
Going to hang with fam tomorrow. Watched s play football today. I just can't believe it is his senior year! It makes me so sad to think this will be the last year I get to watch him. I love watching him play sports. Those of you with young ones..... enjoy it! All of a sudden, they are big kids!
