My favorite part is how our brains immediately and automatically create meanings all over the place. No matter what. Drives me nuts...facial expressions, sighs, accidental bumps, etc...they all seem to mean something in my head, at least for a second. I'm learning to slow my mind down some and take a more objective view of things so I don't get too spun up about every little thing.
Keeping this up and expanding it will serve you so well. We read things through our lens and take way too much of what other people do personally.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Yes, labug, it really does help to try and slow those thoughts down.
As does GAL, the more I've got going on, the less time my mind has to wander.
Me: 34 W:33 T: 10 M: 6 S: 6 D: 5 BD: 5/14 Still together(ish) Not giving up: 7/14 D talk has slowed, a lot. Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms. Slow and Steady wins the race.
Saw IC last night. She thinks I'm doing things right at this point. Says I've got to have the mentality of the tortoise from "the tortoise & the hare." I think I've gotten myself there.
She also warned me that, although things are getting much better, expect more bad. This is something I knew from you guys, but good to have it reinforced.
Feeling pretty good right now. Still focused on those positive changes.
Me: 34 W:33 T: 10 M: 6 S: 6 D: 5 BD: 5/14 Still together(ish) Not giving up: 7/14 D talk has slowed, a lot. Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms. Slow and Steady wins the race.
It certainly is a roller coaster of love. I like the Red Hot Chili Peppers version, personally.
Me: 34 W:33 T: 10 M: 6 S: 6 D: 5 BD: 5/14 Still together(ish) Not giving up: 7/14 D talk has slowed, a lot. Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms. Slow and Steady wins the race.
We dropped the kids off w/ my parents and went to dinner together tonight.
Nothing about it was super date-like, but it was the first time in FOREVER that we've gone to dinner, just us two. Also, she didn't pull back after that this evening, she continued to be pleasant and friendly.
We still haven't hugged or kissed or anything like that and she hasn't openly stated that she's ready to get to work on this marriage, but it feels like it's close right now.
Me: 34 W:33 T: 10 M: 6 S: 6 D: 5 BD: 5/14 Still together(ish) Not giving up: 7/14 D talk has slowed, a lot. Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms. Slow and Steady wins the race.
Hi, Im new Just reading your thread and wanted to wish you well. Im happy things are improving for you. Hang in there, I hope you will get to piecing soon
Still going well. W even got grumpy today and didn't turn the grumpy on to me. That's a win.
I'm sure I'm still in for some bumps and bruises, but piecing doesn't seem too far off.
Me: 34 W:33 T: 10 M: 6 S: 6 D: 5 BD: 5/14 Still together(ish) Not giving up: 7/14 D talk has slowed, a lot. Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms. Slow and Steady wins the race.
I'm rooting hard for you, Joe. We have somewhat similar sitches, although my WAW has moved out. Be patient and work on yourself. Don't chase or push. You can't make up her mind, but you could push her the wrong way.
Last edited by Card29; 08/31/1412:06 AM.
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23
Oh yeah, card. We've gone through hell and back. Things have been slowly but surely getting better. I think we'll be into piecing things back together officially before too long. Already feels like we are.
Me: 34 W:33 T: 10 M: 6 S: 6 D: 5 BD: 5/14 Still together(ish) Not giving up: 7/14 D talk has slowed, a lot. Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms. Slow and Steady wins the race.
