Wife dropped the bomb; doing in house separation

[HopeTex]

Told the W this morning that I had found a lawyer and would be meeting with him Tuesday. That started a long conversation about what we envisioned the D looking like. It was very calm and cordial. We discussed how we want to be good cordial cooperative co-parents. Started talking thru finances in a general sense. She thinks she can afford the house and is willing to buy me out by giving me retirement accounts, etc, and knows she needs to refinance, maybe with her dad's help.

I spent yesterday evening hanging out with a buddy at the apartment complex in the neighborhood, he is divorced with three young kids. Nice place, three bedroom three bath, it gave me a picture of what life would look like, not my fantasy but still a good life.

So today I told her I would probably plan on living there if we did get divorced and she was able to buy me out if the house and get me off the mortgage.

We talked a bit about custody schedules, she is proposing something like 70/30, I said I would talk to my lawyer but that I planned on more 50/50. She didn't get angry, just grimaced and said she thought that would be too disruptive for the kids. I left it at that.

I feel very lost right now as to whether what I am doing is good DBing or not. She is very determined right now about moving forward with the D. I am trying to be detached and non-argumentative. I am letting her do all the work on the D, but also cooperating when she asks me for financial info, etc. and I know I have to go meet with a lawyer and get a gameplay ready to protect myself and my relationship with the kids. But I feel like maybe I am giving up and being too cooperative by telling her about my plan to move into the apartment if we D and she buys me out of the house. Am I making things too easy for her, or is this good because it is no trying to fight her on the idea of D?

It feels right now like she is a freight train barreling toward D and there is no stopping it. Over the last day or so I have been in a mindset of "Oh well. I guess the D is inevitable so it is time to get ready to negotiate the details and plan on where I am am going to move, and do it all in a kind, loving and respectful way that protects my working relationship with the W for the benefit of the kids going forward." But am I missing some other DB perspective I need to be holding to?

I feel lost vets, please advise as to how I should handle this new phase!