barely holding on - 3

[u-turn]

Thanks all
I may be doing alright with the kids. With W is another story.

We may have hit another obstacle this morning and some backsliding.

We had a conversation this morning: more like I talked she listened then she talked and I listened (not really responding to each other though).

Short synopsis:
I said:
-I apologize for my part in our "falling apart"
-I know that I cannot control you or tell you what to do, but I do not know how I am going to be able to heal while you work there with OM.
-you have your choices to make, but so do I and I do have boundaries.

She said:
-she has to figure out what it is going to take for her to be a better mother again
-she knows that she "ruined our marriage, ruined our family, and ruined my self esteem"
-she has a choice to make work or family - she cannot have both because of OM. but she cannot quit her job and jeopardize her future and that she will always work with OM in that case. She needs to keep the job to take care of the kids.
-that I am the "kindest and most patient man she has ever known"

Well in unison - I said - “then what do you want from me?”
and she said “so why can’t I choose you?”
That probably was not productive…

D14 walked in and conversation was over.

I really don’t know where where we can go from here right now.