My W did counseling for about 4 sessions. At the time, it was at the beginning of our first recon, so she was saying all the right things. To be honest, the first time happened way too fast, based on logistical convenience.
My W was living in NM at the time and our kids were getting ready to begin school. It made the most sense to get them back out to the Bay Area, given that I had a great job out here. Ironically, today is my last day, as I begin a new job next week.
Retrouvaille, was a great experience. It made us dig to places we normally wouldn't. It helped us communicate about our feelings in a more controlled manner, which then encouraged more vulnerability.
I think it took us to places that I don't think my W wanted to visit. Specifically "Family of Origin".
We have attended a Retrouvaille CORE meeting last month and had coffee with the hosting couple. They have been amazing.
This week, we have hit a couple of rough patches that were issues in the past. There are things that I have identified that I need to work on. One of them was my passive/aggressive behavior. Before, instead of dealing with the issue when it presented itself, I'd avoid it to not have to deal with confrontation. Later it would just build some resentment.
This week, we had a couple disagreements and we were able to handle them a lot better. New territory that was uncomfortable, but made a world of difference.
This post got long.
All great info and not too long! Thanks for sharing from your heart.
Last edited by labug; 08/30/1403:51 PM.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
