~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My Dearest W;
Ever since our first kiss, you have been the most important person in my life. Since that day, I was totally smitten with you and those feelings have endured. I realize that there have been times when my words or actions may have made you feel like you were not number one in my life. That was never my intent and it was due to my lack of empathysensitivity [or awareness], my lack of consideration for how you would perceive my actions, and my negligence to see the world from your point of view.
At times I would be persistent to a fault to arrange things in my life to suit what I thought was best, without looking deeply enough into your feelings to see if what I thought was best was actually not in your best interest. I have failed in those times to consider what was best for you and for our life. I know you would tell me what you thought and although I would take that into consideration, my blind determination and my arrogant opinion that I know best overrode your feelings. I realize now how that discrediting of your viewpoint by my insensitivity and selfishness had hurt you over and over again. My intentions never were to hurt you - I was trying to make our life together the best it could be but I was blind to what was really taking place in your heart and mind.
I've been an insensitive blockhead. I am so sorry that I have caused you all this pain. I have wept, having realized the depth of hurt that I caused you. If I could turn back time, with the awareness that I now have, I would have validated your feelings, truly seeing what's in your heart and acted in your best interest accordingly.
I wish to never hurt you again as I have done in the past. I am working on my awareness, listening to your heartfelt words and trying my best to maintain the changes I've made. I would ask that if you detect any indication that I'm not staying my course that you immediately bring it to my attention so that we can avoid any more bad behaviour on my partfeelings as a result of some misunderstanding or miscommunication. I have learned much and have grown over the past eight months and never wish to go back to how I was - I would like to leave those old ways behind.
I would like to set things right. Perhaps we can take a deserving vacation to an exotic destination to spend a large block of uninterrupted quality time together, just you and I.Our old marriage is dead. What I would like to see is for us to re-build our marriage in a new way that is affirming for the both of us. It is my hope that you would be willing to participate in the healing process together and I would like to hear your thoughts on how we can achieve this.
I know I cannot erase the hurts of the past. For those I ask for you forgiveness.
