I'm sorry you are having a difficult time. It sounds like you are feeling many emotions and that's completely understandable.
Mighty's post is spot on. It's interesting. I just happened to remember that a year ago we were on a vacation as a family that "traumatized" h allegedly to the point of no return. And this year ? We are getting ready to D. If you had told me this last year I would have told you that was insane.
I've struggled like so many, to wrap my very logical brain around this. Was he really unhappy 6 months ? 1 year ? 5 years? 10 years? And I realize that it doesn't matter. Nada. While I can't imagine being married with 3 kids and fast forward 1 year be in a R (and have been for 6 months) with the "love of my life." And then I realize, that I'm grateful that I'm not THAT person. I don't mean that in a bad way. I just simply wouldn't want to be him.
LN, it's weird when your life gets turned around. I thought we were going to grow old together? Retire together ? Do x together? And then I realize I had no control over that in the first place. And I'm so shocked! How did I think I actually did???
In regards to anger, think about this. Your h will think what he thinks. I've shown restraint that I didn't think I had in regards to responding to garbage. Stbxh is now talking with high school friends (what??) in addition to new 20somethings I don't know. And who cares what these people I don't know think??? They don't know me. And while I don't encourage keeping these bottled up, sadly , releasing the anger to your h probably won't make you feel better. Kickbox. Jump rope. Punch a pillow. Let it out. However, know this. You are working hard. You are a good person becoming even better and THIS does not define you.
Hang in there! You can stick this landing:-)
Last edited by Georgiabelle; 08/30/1404:30 AM.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
