He was supposed to love me forever - and he was the one who made a BIG deal a few months ago about the fact that he did not remember me EVER saying to him that I'd love him forever. This, by the way, is absolutely false. I actually found hard, physical evidence at our vacation home, on a card I had given him a few years ago (we always saved all our cards) - I had actually written in it the word 'forever.' So I took out a pen and underlined the word, and put the card back in his drawer where he is sure to find it once he starts cleaning things out and packing them up when we sell the house! So there it was in black and white.
Hey Live. Sorry to hear it's getting into this phase of the game. It is really tough, and I would never want to go back to that. But the bright side is that I don't have to. That part is over and it is in the past. It was just a blip on the radar, and it will only be that for you, too.
The above quote- they do sure have us questioning everything, right? Don't doubt yourself! He knew you would love him forever. You didn't marry him as a temporary gig! That's silly. I think they just make this craziness up to justify themselves or they really just have these weird thoughts. My xh said something along the lines like, well it's not like we thought we'd be married forever. I was like, "I DID!" He said, "Really?!" And actually sounded shocked! This is after years of telling me I was the best thing that ever happened to him. He even told his family that when they were trying to cause drama, and that he would never let them say things about me and that he would cut them off because I am the only person in his life who has been there for him. MLCers don't know what they are talking about during this time. Please don't rack your brain trying to make sense of it. He knew, he just decided it made more sense to think that way. Bear in mind- made more sense to a mlc mind.... so..... it doesn't really make sense, right?!
I can tell you this, from my experience. What you are going through now really is tough. Try to do everything you can to keep it in perspective. I feel for you. Remember, this is only a temporary time in your life. Whatever comes of this, it will not be like THIS forever. Even with separation and divorce, it does not mean it is over. Heck, my parents remarried after a pretty crazy and tense divorce. And they were divorced for ten years! I have never shared that here. Whoop, there it is!
Live, you can do this. Things will be very different in your life. That does not mean that it is a bad thing. My mentality has changed a lot. Yes, I am still hurt and confused. I am, however, living a life very differently than I ever thought or planned. I am not as afraid of it, I am looking forward to seeing where I am going, and I do like a lot of things in my new life. So, while you do the settlement/agreement, just be prepared with what you want. If it goes a little differently than planned, that's ok, too! Protect yourself, get what you deserve, but don't be afraid if it turns out differently than you wanted. Take the opportunity to change things for you. I hope this makes sense.
You seem to be doing a really great job, Live. It is a tough and difficult situation. It won't always be that way. It also does not mean that it is over "forever"! Take each day as it comes and make the best of it. We are here for you.
